Much to the displeasure of my kids, I canceled our vacation to San Francisco and instead took them to Canmore, a mere hour down the road from us.
Why would I do such a terrible thing to my kids?
My nervous system was clearly not on board with the plan to travel too far from home.
The reason for this is, like many others, when I’m unsure of things my anxiety can go through the roof. The more unknowns there are, the more anxious I can be. I had never traveled to San Francisco, so there were unknowns in abundance.
When I booked the flights and hotel in April, with a departure date of mid-July, my next immediate thought was, “I can’t wait until I get home from the trip!”
In the past I would have ignored what my nervous system was saying. As a highly sensitive person I was often embarrassed at how quickly I could become overwhelmed. And especially if what I was overwhelmed with was things that others could do easily.
So I pushed myself to seem like everyone else, and then I would shut down.
I ended up feeling embarrassed for shutting down. The question that kept circling for me was, “Why can’t I be like everyone else?”
Over the past few years I have taken some time to really reflect on this; who I am and what I need to function well in the world. A few years ago I became a single parent so I needed to ensure that I was taking good care of myself so I could be there for my kids in the way that they need.
So when my nervous system said no to San Francisco, I knew it was best to listen.
The good news is that we had a great time in Canmore. I was present, not anxious, and not shut down.
We did a caving tour which was a bit scary and also quite magical. The kids did another activity rappelling into a canyon… my nervous system also said no to that! While they did this, I went for a leisurely hike, found a quiet place to read my book and ate my lunch. It was a wonderful day.
My reason for sharing this story is to remind us that as Highly Sensitive People, we also matter. We often can get so caught up in taking care of others that we drain ourselves. This can leave us feeling resentful and sad.
Where would it be helpful for you to listen to yourself more?
Where do you override your feelings to accommodate others or to appear ‘normal’?
The more we understand ourselves as highly sensitive people, the better we can take care of ourselves.
