I want to start with why highly sensitive people find themselves seeking therapy.
The most common reason is that the overwhelm they are feeling is no longer tolerable.
As HSP’s we are highly functional and can manage many things. Often people don’t know how much we are doing or how much we are managing as we feel overwhelmed.
This can be the dependable, hardworking employee who is filled with so much anxiety as he performs his work duties, wondering when the moment will come when he gets fired…even when there is no evidence that this will happen.
It can be the mom, doing all the things for her kids and family. She keeps it together in front of others but when she is on her own she can’t stop crying.
It’s also the HSP who has given up on friendships and spends their time focusing on work and then doom scrolling. They can’t find one reason to like themselves.
It’s so hard to get to the place of not being able to manage anymore, as it feels like the world is falling apart. But it can open the door to therapy and healing.
And this is a beautiful door to open.
Most HSP’s feel bad about themselves as they have heard so many messages over the years that there is something wrong with how much they feel and how they see the world. This leads to them feeling terrible about who they are.
When we feel terrible about ourselves, it’s very hard to believe that people want to be with us. So we often are in friendships that aren’t a good match. We choose a romantic partner that doesn’t seem to be interested in us. We aren’t honest with family members when they treat us badly as we worry they won’t want to be around us if we are not always agreeable.
Therapy can help.
Part of the work that is done in therapy is unravelling the narrative that you are defective. In order to heal, we need to see ourselves in a more positive way, and actually know that this is the truth about who we are.
As you let go of negative beliefs about yourself, there are often emotions of grief, sadness, and frustration that show up. Letting these emotions out in safe ways is really helpful. You might find that you are crying old tears, tears that have been inside you for many years.
As much as you can, it’s best not to judge these emotions and to just let them show up.
Then sometimes without thought, behaviours start to change. You notice that you allow yourself to be annoyed at someone, or you say no when asked for help. Or you start looking for another job, or seriously consider ending a relationship that has been hurtful for many years.
As we heal, we cannot maintain things that don’t feel good for us and we start to seek out relationships and experiences that feel better.
We are not meant to silently suffer. Life has so much more to offer us, and as HSP’s our ability to live a life of wholeness is available to all of us.
Wishing everyone a happy and peaceful holiday season!